A lot of you who read my blog are my age and at the same stage of life where you’re finishing up school, starting college or work, and hoping to start a relationship with the goal of marriage.
It’s a scary time in life.
And if you’re anything like me, you may have wrestled or be wrestling with God over why he hasn’t brought someone into your life yet. Or why the person you want a relationship with doesn’t seem to feel the same way.
Today I’d like to share some of the things I’ve had to think about and come to realise as I wait for God to reveal his plans for my dating/marriage life.
Be Patient: God’s Timing is Perfect
We’ve all been told over and over again to just be patient and if we’re really honest, we’re sick of it. I get it. You want that perfect person to come sweep you off your feet RIGHT NOW.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes God puts the right person in your life at a very early age and sometimes he makes you wait a really long time.
My best friend just got married at eighteen a couple weeks ago but I also have amazing youth leaders who are in their mid twenties and God hasn’t put someone in their life yet. There’s nothing wrong with them–in fact they’re some of the sweetest, God-loving people I know–but God hasn’t said it’s time yet.
It’s hard because while you may be wanting to start a relationship right now, God may be telling you to wait. And wait. And wait.
Sometimes it seems to be taking so long that you start wondering if God even has someone for you. But you know what I’ve found? When we’re patient, we’re also happier. Instead of spending our time stressing about the fact that we’re still single when all our friends aren’t, we can enjoy life knowing that when the time is right we’ll find that person.
Don’t Sit Around Waiting
While my single youth leaders are all very different people with different interests and stories, they all have something in common; they’re not just sitting around and waiting for that perfect person to fall into their lap. I don’t mean that they’re hunting down potential partners but what I do mean is they’re using this time to serve God in ways they might not be able to if they were married; being youth leaders, quizzing coaches, and serving on the worship team.
The time of singlehood God gives you is an amazing time to serve God in ways you may be too busy to later.
You also should put yourself out there instead of waiting for someone to come to you. That doesn’t mean you’re flirting with every guy you meet. Instead, go to young people’s events where you can make friends of both genders.
The time of waiting is not a time of stillness. There’s lots to be done while you wait for the next path to open
They Might Not be the Right One
When we were younger, we had crushes on people and fantasised what it might be like to be with them.
But at this age you want that crush to go somewhere and in the back of your mind you know that if they don’t like you back and start dating someone else, it’ll probably never happen.
That’s a sobering thought especially when you’re sure that this is the one. But have you ever thought that they might not be the one? That God may have someone else picked out for you?
It could be someone you haven’t met yet…or they might be standing right in front of you and you just never saw them. At least not in that way.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve thought about this before and shuddered. Because there are guys I know who would be the last person in the world I want to date and yet that could be God’s plan.
Still, I hold fast to the knowledge that Yahweh loves me and his plan for my life is best. He knows exactly who you need. You may think you know but God knows better.
Marriage May not be His Plan for You
This is always the hardest for me and most others to think about.
Maybe God wants me to remain single. Permanently.
I don’t even know what to say about this point because it’s not something I’ve come to terms with yet.
I’ve always planned to get married and start a family–and that will probably happen–but there’s that lingering chance that I won’t get that life.
Is that a bad thing, though? Absolutely not! I’d like to quote Paul here because he says it far better than I ever could.
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that cit is good for them to remain single, das I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, ethey should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” ~1 Corinthians 7:6-9
“32 I want you to be efree from anxieties. fThe unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, gnot to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” ~1 Corinthians 7:32-35
These are the passages I always turn to when I’m upset by the thought that God may call me to remain single. It’s a gift from God just like anything else he gives us, a way to be devoted to him and no other. So while my desire is to follow the Lord in marriage, I know that with God’s help I would be able to serve him in singlehood.
So that was probably pretty confusing…y’all know my mind is a jumbled mess so I hope you can forgive me xD. But I hope that you found something helpful in the midst of the mess; something to encourage you as you enter this next stage of life.